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Summertime Whinging

So it's summer and as such it sucks. I hate summer. I hate being too warm. I have hyperhydrosis (my hands, feet and armpits sweat more than "usual" - basically they never fucking stop. It's embarrassing and I hate it and I want the fucking operation even if it paralyzes me) and summer makes it super fucking noticeable that my hands are constantly wet. At least when it's cold you can put more layers on. If it's too hot you cannot take your skin off.

Plus summer = away from Puck and Aberdeen. I went home. Puck went home. We live faaaaar away from each other. IT SUCKS. I cannot do this relationship over a long distance. It requires us being ridiculously close. Or maybe I'm just so used to us being ridiculously close, I cannot cope when we aren't even though I know it's not a life-or-death thing. Christ I wish I was single sometimes. At least I'd be having more sex during summer. And I wouldn't be constantly sitting, waiting, wishing for him to come online. I hate hate hate summer. BLAH.

So, less ranty. I work in Oxfam now. I love the bookshop and the boutique. If I go in one my days off and it's in a mess, I wanna dump my bag in the "staffroom" and help out. The job means I can get out of the house, meet new people and exercise my little legs by running up and down stairs all day :D So what if I don't get paid? Not in it for the money. The money would REALLY help me out as my dad's close to retiring (like, a month off) and my mum's already retired and I'm a poor student but nevermind. I'll just stop eating. I'd lose the weight I've piled on over the past few months.

I feel so fucked right now. All my depression has flooded back over me since being home. Puck makes me constantly happy and loving life and without him I just wanna crawl into a corner and waste away. And my hair is REALLY getting on my nerves. I've been growing it (partly for Halloween which I no longer wanna do and partly for Puck to see me with long hair) but I'm so sick of it - it gets too hot and sticky with long(ish) hair and I constantly have to tie it back to stop my neck getting too sweaty and then it just looks terrible.

So, lots of ranting and stuff. Some positive things? Puck's coming up on Sunday, I'm going down in a coupla weeks. And... Umm... Well that's about all the positive things I can think of at the moment. Not in a very positive place (mentally not physically).

Take care lovelies. I hope you guys are happier than me. ♥

OH I TOTALLY FORGOT. I passed second year and totally got into Honours. ♥ 'Cause I'm like totally awesome and all I'm waiting for is a letter confirming it though I got the grades so it's only a matter of time!

Comments

Dont stop eating....!

I did that and got made to eat :( *hugs* Things will be ok though, and once you see El I'm sure you'll feel much better too!! Miss you xx